That’s a wrap, Evangelicals

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Jimmy Zuma

Evangelical politicians are the guys who gather up money and power by claiming God speaks to them. They prefer to be called “social conservatives” as if they are not entirely thats a wrap cross wikimedia sodacan pddriven by religious fundamentalism. They have had a pretty sucky week. After a long string of victories, Evangelicals feared they were losing a second presidential nominating process. TO MORMONS FER CRISSAKES! So they met in Texas to pick a candidate.Case closed, they imagined. We still matter, they assumed.

Not so fast…

These leaders thought they were watching the nomination slip away because of dilution of influence. Some supported Perry, some Santorum, and some Gingrich. Pick one guy, they thought, and we’ll be running the show again.Work separately, and THAT MORMON will get the nomination.

When last we visited the meeting, I predicted quite emphatically (foolishly?) that evangelical leaders knew Rick Santorum is unelectable. Santorum is on video opposing birth control, a position that surely makes him icky to women of every political stripe. But darned if they didn’t pick Santorum anyway; silly me.

They never imagined the real reason for Romney’s march might be that courting the evangelical vote no longer matters.

These guys are not the kind of pastor you might find at your neighborhood church. They are more like that TV pastor who will send you a free plastic packet of “blessed healing water.” “Drink it if you have cancer. If you are blind, pour it on your eyes. AND BE HEA-LED!”we’re told.

They guys seek to use the bible to make people give them money. Then they invest their collection-plate earnings with despots and dictators proffering the logic that if God didn’t want them to do it, he’d stop them. I’m reminded of the old joke which ends, “I just throw all the money up in the air and I figure God will take what he wants while it is up there.”

In other words they are self-aggrandizing fatheads. They use God to con suckers. They’ve built a power base in the Republican Party by delivering votes through inflaming the delicate sensibilities of simple thinkers — particularly in places like South Carolina.

So they were completely blindsided. They met, they chose and their choice – Rick Santorum — didn’t gain a single point in the polls. Santorum simply went nowhere. On January 1, the Gallup Daily GOP Tracking Pollput Santorum at 13. On January 11 he was at 13. Today, he’s at 13. It’s a Gingrich/Romney race.

Let me offer an alternative explanation for the waning influence of the Republican Party’s evangelical vote-wranglers. They no longer matter. Now that money men can spend as much as they want on elections, they no longer have to pander to religious conservatives. They no longer have to accede to the wishes of the evangelicals in order to get their votes.

Just as Gingrich was trounced in Iowa by negative ads – forcing him to go find his own rich guy – moneyed interests in the Republican Party now realize they can win any election simply through the force of paid advertising. Votes are forgone. They are the inevitable result of a negative, saturation-advertising campaign.

TV cuts out the middle-man. It has to be liberating for the money boys. They can simply spend as much as they want. They no longer have to pretend to like the snake oil salesmen.

Post Citizens United, it’s a great time to be rich, eh?

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Shattering the Class Warfare taboo

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Jimmy Zuma

Today, most Americans see conflict between the rich and us

The United States has always had a culturally-enforced taboo: don’t speak ill of the rich. If anyone thought or said that the rich don’t play fair, they were simply a sore loser. This Mitt_Romney_Matthew Reichbach wikimedia 300xtaboo lasted much longer than it should have, owing mostly to the Republican practice of using “class warfare” as a bludgeon. “That’s class warfare!” they’d scream. How un-American.

Then Occupy Wall Street arrived, spoke the unspeakable, and shattered the glass wall. In fairness, the stage was set the day we were presented with the ridiculous premise of Citizens United. But tents in town squares broke the long prohibition on asking why – in a land founded on equality – the wealthy are so pampered and coddled.

A new poll from Pew Research Center confirms that Americans are thinking a lot about class disparity. And now that they are talking, it turns out that most Americans think the deck is stacked in favor of the rich. Liberals and socialists, you might be thinking? Sure Democrats and Independents weighed in with equal and broad majorities, but more than half of Republicans also agreed.

The numbers look good for an Obama election strategy focused on representing the middle class. They look bad for the Romney’s “corporations are people” strategy. According to Pew’s research, a solid two thirds of Americans might be inclined to think that the so-called “job creators” are actually self-dealing pricks. “I like to fire people,”plays right into this, not because of the context, because of the “like.”

If President Obama can win the case that he represents middle-class families and workers, a solid two thirds of Americans will support him. In fact, the “class conflict” between the rich and middle class (according to Pew) is now thought by most Americans to be much more severe than racism, ageism and nativism.

The view cuts across all common economic strata from incomes below $20,000 to incomes above $75,000. Even those who realistically aspire to cross class lines are likely to believe that the upper-income class will conspire to keep them out. In three years, Pew found, the majority who believe that middle and upper earners are in conflict has risen by 24%.

This should be an earth-shattering bit of data to anyone planning to run on the “pamper the rich for your own good” platform. When Mitt Romney defines success by how much money you amass, he ignores the contributions of firemen, teachers, nurses and the guy who makes sure your car’s wheel stays on. Those folks are now openly questioning his greed-logic.

Still, the survey didn’t find an interest in getting even with the wealthy. Americans may envy the rich, but not in the resentful way Romney would have you believe. Roughly half of respondents thought wealthy folks earned their money. Only half thought they didn’t.

But with such a plurality of agreement that class tensions exist, it could be inferred that average earners will be less likely to let themselves be taken advantage of by the rich. And that’s the whole point, isn’t it? If the numbers continue to increase, it can only lead to a realignment of political views to disfavor – or at least more equally favor – the rich.

The new prevailing view also crosses age groups. Young people acknowledge the class conflict by over seven in ten, but 64% of their parents agree and 55% of their grandparents. Another interesting fact from the Pew poll is that the belief in class conflict comes mostly from white people coming into agreement with black and Hispanic Americans. Black and brown people were ahead of the curve. But since 2009, the gap between black and white views on this subject has narrowed from 23 points to nine.

So what does it all mean for our upcoming presidential election? It means that class disparity will continue to be an election issue. It means that the Occupy Wall Street message has resonated with Americans. It turns out that OWS said what people were already thinking.

It also means that a subject that America’s oligarchy and their Republican handmaidens have sought to keep taboo is now going to be freely discussed in bars and around dinner tables. That may not keep Mitt Romney out of the White House, but it surely makes his association with and advocacy for rich folks that much more of a millstone around his neck.

Even still, Obama will contend with a bad economy, Republican attempts to limit voting, SuperPACs, and the usual amount of white racism. But the overreach by the rich (and their R-Party spokespeople) looks to have created a big opportunity for the incumbent. Just ask Rush Limbaugh.

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The Republican religious war

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Jimmy Zuma

Make no mistake – if Mitt Romney was a Baptist this thing would be over. But Citizen’s United unleashed a ton of Mormon money and Evangelicals are running scared.

preach my gospel flickr attrib More Good Foundation 300xWhat’s playing out in the GOP today isn’t a battle between moderates and conservatives – the party no longer has any moderates. In fact, the word “moderate” has become a pejorative. No, the current battle is between collection-plate Christians and the insular financial powerhouse that is Mormonism. They are fighting over which religion will call the shots in the R-Party going forward.

Within all the Sturm und Drangabout the Iowa caucuses, an underreported story is that Rick Perry dropped out, and then got back in. Those who live in fantasyland will parse his words and say he never literally said he was dropping out. But he clearly spoke the code words candidates speak in order to avoid saying they lost.

My guess is that James Dobson was on the phone with Perry within minutes of his televised withdrawal, glamouring him about being part of God’s plan and offering to put him back in the game.

A Saturday meeting in Texas is the likely result of this.Well known collection-plate evangelicals Don Wildmon (former chair of the American Family Association,) Gary Bauer (a famous evangelical lobbyist,) and Dobson (founder of Focus on the Family) quickly called the meeting. They, with others, are the same group that had a secret meeting with Perry in August. Wildmon and Dobson were both speakers at Perry’s prayer rally. Both have endorsed him in the past, though Wildmon has been a Gingrich supporter lately.

No word if Pastor Bill Keller will be in attendance. He’s the one who said a vote for Romney is a vote for Satan. But you can bet Perry-supporter Pastor Robert “but he is not a Chris-ti-an” Jeffress will be in attendance. Other prominent collection-platers Tony Perkins and John Hagee have also supported Perryand are sure to be invited as well.

The meeting is important. So important that Rick Santorum surrogate Ron Carey was on cable news Thursday morning trying to co-opt the agenda for Santorum. He told Chuck Todd,

“There is a bunch of faith-based conservative leaders who are getting together to talk about can they coalesce as leaders of the conservative movement to get behind Santorum.”

Santorum can only wish. Most of these kingmakers endorsed McCain in the last election. So they’d be natural Romney endorsers except for his religion. But within the group, Rick Perry seems to have the mojo. He is vain enough to glamour, faithful enough to scare, and dumb enough to manipulate. Think George W.

Why not Santorum? Even Christian zealots know that Santorum has no chance to beat President Obama. For starters, he is on video advocating (not just explaining) his opposition to birth control.

“It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be,” Santorum says. Never mind that the vast majority of married (and Christian) couples practice birth control. They also fornicate for fun, which would probably make Santorum’s head explode.

A few fringe Protestant groups oppose birth control and certainly the Roman Catholic Church teaches against it. But I can’t think of a single Catholic I know (including family and more than a few priests) who doesn’t believe in birth control. And I don’t know a single Catholic woman who would vote to outlaw birth control simply to avoid a trip to confession. Maybe the Duggars…

Being wrong on one issue isn’t a campaign killer, but being so wrong on an issue like birth control – one of the single most important issues of women – is a sign of sheer stupidity. Rank stupidity isa deal breaker.

Santorum can only run from his opposition to sexbirth control. If he runs on it – or can’t hide from it – he has no chance of being elected. The Dobsons of the world are practical politicians. Coalescing behind Santorum would be an act of utter desperation.

Rick Perry, on the other hand, offers all the malleability of Santorum without all the baggage. He’s a good Christian who’s dumb enough to follow instructions and vain enough to think they were his ideas. Sometime between dropping out Tuesday night and pretending he never did Wednesday morning, Perry seems to have gotten the word to wait until at least this weekend to plot his future. Expect the emergency Christian summit to anoint him as the true candidate of God.

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America dodges Armageddon

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Jimmy Zuma

The life-altering events that didn’t happen in 2011

MountRedoubtEruption 300x pd US Dept of Interior

 

Our brave democracy survived 2011. But our brightest conservatives warn us that it was close. According to them, the end of our democracy is (still) just around the corner. Luckily, here’s some really bad stuff that didn’t happen in 2011:

 

The imposition of Sharia Law has been stopped in its tracks

Both Tim Pawlenty and Herman Cain opposed the imposition of Sharia Law in the United States. Now both are out of the race. Though there is no hard evidence, one has to wonder if all of the women who claim to have been harassed by “Horny-Herman” Cain are really Muslim activists. Just sayin’…

In any event, the Constitution survived for another year. No federal, state or local legislature – or even homeowner’s association – considered any bill promoting Sharia in any form. Whew!

The end of the USA through homosexual fornication – we’re going down, but we’re not out

Rick Santorum (he’s that guy running for president on the Gay Inquisition platform) said gay marriage would be the end of America. “Unless we protect it with the institution of marriage, our country will fall.”He is also outraged that schools might one day teach that gay people are no different from straight people. Really.

Santorum’s official donation site has an expired security certificate. But other than that, he’s a pretty savvy guy. In other news, spreadingsantorum.com is down to number two in a Google search. Rick must be pretty pleased about that. And last I checked Newt Gingrich can still get a marriage license for number four whenever he’s ready.

God didn’t end the world – as planned

Radio minister Harold Camping predicted the end of the world would come May 21, 2011. He’d used the well-regarded science of numerology to determine the exact day. When that day came and went, he acknowledged a math error and said the correct day was October 21. Of course, by then, most of his followers – who’d given away all of their stuff back in May – were clogging up Bay Area homeless shelters and food kitchens. His organization had spent $100 million promoting the end of the world, as if no one would have noticed when it happened. I bet the people who believed in his reckoning skills would have liked to have a piece of that cash.

Prior to this, Camping had calculated that the actual date of Christ’s birth was April 1, which casts the whole Christianity thing in a much different light. “April Fools!” said one prominent Jew.

The end of the military and Christmas – Santa survives!

Rick Perry, in what could only be called a pander-twofer told us there is, “something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military, but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.” Uhhh… Huh?

Yet Christmas came and went, pretty much like any other Christmas. We all got fat and jolly and sucked up lots of electricity through our extra incandescent bulbs. Children prayed whenever they wanted, or at least whenever their parents made them.

The US Military also seems unaffected. But expect that to change in 2012 after two gay sailors (are Marines surprised?) were photographed kissing. Several conservatives (including some Marines) commented, “Hey, that was hot!”

It was odd that Perry chose 2011 to signal his opposition to the War on Christmas. In the past, godless liberals have only waged war on Christian holidays during election years. Maybe Perry didn’t get the memo. Was this another one of Perry’s premature ejaculations? Or is he so far ahead of the curve that he sees what other candidates won’t until just before next year’s elections?

Oh, and Santa reports being on schedule even though many of the elves were reported to have said, “Hey, that was hot!”

Religion even survived Obama, at least for now

Again it was Rick Perry, warning us that we needed to confront “Obama’s war on religion” as well as “liberal attacks on our religious heritage.” Oddly, I can’t find any information about this, even though I’m quite sure it must be an actual problem. There is probably a secret White House Office to End Religion. It’s probably run by a Czar.

Relax, God still hates (insert random group here)

But maybe not quite so much. The attention whores at Westboro Baptist Church (motto: God hates fags!) were back in the news briefly after announcing plans to picket the funeral of a Virginia Tech police officer Deriek Crouse. However they didn’t show. According to Collegiate Times, student Josh Clarkdid come, bringing with him a sign and a box of donuts. “Don’t Feed the Trolls. Instead, have a free donut. Any donations will go towards the Hokies for Crouse fund.” With Josh’s help, Hokies for Crouse went on to raise over $100,000 for the officer’s family.

Like the other harbingers of doom (look it up) Westboro continues to expand, with new websites devoted to “God hates Islam” and “God Hates the Media.” I’m not making that up. Expect God Hates Anyone Who Ignores Us.comto be a registered URL soon.

But Josh Clark’s advice is, I think, generally good. Next year, don’t feed the trolls.

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John Boehner – After the dead man walks

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Jimmy Zuma

There is finally a tax cut deal. But not before Republicans started bleeding from the eyeballs. House Speaker John Boehner is in for a good cry. Or six.

Half a year ago, no one could have imagined this newly competitive political landscape. Sure, teabag-terrorist governors like Wisconsin’s Scott Walker (another dead man boehner cry flipped flickr rights granted by flickrmail attrib soulmatic09walking) have also damaged the brand. And there is no underestimating the damage done by the Republican primary. But arguably, no one is more responsible for making Republicans look like nattering nabobs than “Weepy-John” Boehner.

Boehner has personally improved the odds for both President Obama and for every Democrat on a ballot. He has presided over the least popular congress in history, and the first one to accomplish less than the infamous Do-Nothing Congress of 1947.

This Republican-controlled House of Representatives will be remembered for made-up crises, short-term budgeting and inability to create or save a single job. It is oddly ironic that the House now hangs its hat on the idea that they won’t accept a short term solution. It is a negotiating tactic they practically invented.

Meanwhile, the Senate leaves town after that body managed to come to a bipartisan agreement, by a vote of 89-10. Who could have imagined that?

Of course, the extension was inevitable. The only remaining question is how much Republicans have damaged their brand. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell even told Boehner to quit it. That’s unprecedented.

John Boehner’s flaw is being a coward while occupying a seat that requires huge cojones. Apparently, his pseudo-plebian background didn’t prepare him for arrows in the back. Pundit Bob Burns notes that many “believe Boehner has run his political gas tank down to empty in his inability to herd the cats in his party.” Of course, in a world not upside down, freshman members of Congress earn political capital by playing for the team led by the Speaker.

Boehner has also been betrayed by his own Judas, Virginia Congressman and Majority Leader Eric Cantor. Wrangling a big legislative body like the House of Representatives requires a leadership – Speaker, Majority Leader, and Majority Whip – who operate in lock step. So it doesn’t help that a simpering weasel like Cantor trying is always trying to slither into the Speaker’s chair.

Cantor’s backstabbing and pandering to freshman teabag-terrorists is, in large measure, why Boehner now faces an untenable future. From Day One, Cantor has positioned to replace Boehner. In this broken Congress, Cantor refuses to work on behalf of the Speaker, delivering his refusals under the cover of his party’s recalcitrant freshman. Through disloyalty and back-room backstabbing, Cantor is the man who orchestrated Boehner’s series of embarrassing public walk backs.

So Cantor is the man to watch in the ramp up to the next session. He is likely to replace Boehner – maybe not before the 113th Congress, but certainly by then. Or maybe he will ascend as soon as next January, if Boehner is forced into “retirement.” Right now, that seems likely.

If President Obama wins reelection, Democrats rout Republicans in the House, and Cantor is kneecapped by Nancy Pelosi. Or maybe it will be the effective Minority Whip, Steny Hoyer.

This scenario is not so unlikely, much more likely than before Boehner’s tenure. The President has outperformed his predecessor on Defense, a traditional Republican advantage. And the minority in Congress has out maneuvered Republicans on taxes, another issue they’ve owned for decades. This Republican-controlled House is the body that tried to roadblock middle class tax relief. At Christmas. You only need to watch an increasingly shrill Grover Norquist squirming on cable TV to know important these last few weeks have been.

Cantor believes he is using teabag-terrorists to depose Boehner. But they are using him. When you caucus with bomb-throwers, you’re likely to lose a few fingers. Or maybe a leg. Even if the teabag-terrorists regain lost momentum and a new Republican president drags the down-ballot along, expect Cantor to go down in short order. He will be painted as a member of the old order and deposed by a member of the 2010 freshman class.

Unbridled ambition is a cruel mistress.

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